As a youth, I thought having tummy aches on the daily was just a natural aspect of being a human being. You sleep, you poop, you shower and you have a tummy ache once a day.

In this women ‘empowerment’ age where you can’t walk past a single shop without seeing some kind of branded “girl boss” t shirt or misguided pencil case saying “i’m a bitch but so are you hunni”… it seems extraordinary that women are still in fact, on the occasion, faking it. Today, I re-watched this scene with a friend who asked if I’d ever faked it. I nodded, yes but years ago, when I was only just starting out in the world of sex. But I realised to my shock, that wasn’t quite true….

Every chocolate type has a personality and your choice says a hell uva lot about who you are. I would never trust someone who intentionally selects a Cadbury Curly Wurly. WhY is it so narrow, what’s inside of it? Why is it so bendy. I do not trust this chocolate bar or this human being.